The Squire To Be?

Thurusday, Januory 5th, Year of the Field Mouse

Right, it's been four days since the beginning of the school year and I tell you, these other wannabe squires in here know nothing about knighthood. Can you imagine, there are kids in here who tell me that knighthood is about honor and chivalry and serving your king. One even said that the purest and most gallant of knights serve only God! What a bunch of bollocks! Come on! Everyone knows being a knight is about slaying the dragons. There is this one new kid though, Jim, who told me it's all about saving them fair maidens. Okay, fine. It is what you do after you slay dragons, but still, this guy wears glasses. Seriously. Whoever heard of a knight (or a junior stableboy) who wears spectacles. What a wanker. You'd think he'd fit in better next door at the school of wizards or some such. What do they call themselves? Hogforts? Fagtarts? Sissies. Wot? I wasn't talking to you. No, I didn't call you a sissy, Jimbo. I was talking about those school of wizardry dorks. Okay, maybe I did mention you in association with being a wanker but it was only because of them glasses. Wot? Of course it's your fault you have to wear them. Are you telling me reading them girly mags every minute of the day actually improves your eyesight? Hey! Where'd you come from? Unhand that girly mag. It belongs to good Jimbo. Here now, no need to punch him in the face. Look what you've done! His glasses are smashed. Okay, you're right. He won't be needing them now that you have his girly mag. (Give them the rest of your mags, Jimbo.) What mags!? What?...ugh. The ones you have tucked in the back of your pants, fer cryin' out loud! Don't give me that look. You had it coming. Hey! Wot's this? I didn't do anything to you. I even showed you where Jimbo kept his stash! Why are you grabbing the back of me knickers? No, sir. They won't go any higher. Nor will Jim's. I'm telling you, good sir...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Wow. I didn't know one could wear knickers as underwear and headgear at the same time. I think we'd better run along now, Jimbo. Okay. No. Running. Hurts. Nether-regions. Yeah. See you at dinner. Wanker.